It is natural to feel angry, hurt, or ashamed.  You may feel it is not your fault, or that you were treated unfairly by the child welfare system.  Perhaps you feel your children are now safer than they had been, and you are grateful for the intervention.  Whatever the situation, some things that can help you are:

·     Understand how the system works.
Under the Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997, parents are required to take responsibility for changing their situation within a limited amount of time.  Children and Youth Services is required to arrange for regular hearings in family court to determine if child will be returned to the birth parent(s) or another permanency option should be considered, such as adoption and permanent legal custodianship.  Ask for written information on your rights and responsibilities while your children are not in your care.  Contact a legal aide office or law center in your community for help.

·     Ask for help.
This is a difficult time for you and your children, and you will need lots of support.  Seek out counseling, anger management classes, or other supports available to you and utilize stress reduction techniques to improve your coping skills.  Ask your caseworker for information on services and supports available to you. 

·     Be respectful with caseworkers, supervisors, and others who work with your family.
It may seem like they are not as helpful as you would like, but remember that they have a difficult job to do.  You and they both care about your child.  It might be hard to do, but try to work together for your child.  Communicate calmly and know what you are talking about.  Keep appointments and answer questions honestly.  Keep a written record of contacts with your caseworker and any services that you use.